i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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