when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
