im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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