guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
