So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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