i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
