My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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