It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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