If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Terrible idea I love it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
