Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
