so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
