he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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