this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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