I just cut my nipple shaving
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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