Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
