god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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