it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
