I want to walk on stilts...naked
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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