he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
