i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
