he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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