Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
