is your mom at the bar?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
