Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
