I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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