there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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