So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
