we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
