i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
