Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think people are normalizing furries
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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