love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Acid is not a monday night drug
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
