Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
