This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
