JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We have started to decorate penises.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
