We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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