I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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