This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
