google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
