PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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