I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
