i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
