it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
