Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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