I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
