he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
3 2 1 whiskey
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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