so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
