Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
