Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Randomize
