How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
