I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
