worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
